Love that photo! Because I am one.
It all started after the birth of our last son. In early 2005, I started to really feel my joints hurt, thinking it was just arthritis kicking in. I didn't pay it much attention, till it started to get so bad that I would have my friend, Heather drive me places. This kept on for a month, only to get worse. It started keeping me up at night. The pain was horrible. I could hardly walk or move my arms, jaw, and hands. I was riddled with pain, and having 3 boys, 1 in first, 1 in kindergarden half day, and my youngest still at home barely walking, this was a huge challenge.
Finally one night, I went to Walmart (they are 24 hours!) And bought some of the arthritis medicines that are advertised on TV. Thought that they had to work! Anything had to work! I was desparate. Pain medicines like Tylenol, advil, and ibuprophen were like candy and pointless at this time.
I finally made an appointment with a rhuematologist. Who ordered a list of tests. When the diagnosis came back in a week later, I didn't believe him. What the heck is Lupus?! Is it because I am over wieght? Thats really what I thought! He prescribed me medicines that I was scared to take and continue to breast feed my son. But he assured me that they were safe.
So I took them.
I remember my body at Turkey day, my husband was soo wonderful! I couldn't move! I walked like a 99 yr old, I couldn't cook, I couldn't even move my neck to turn and look. I remember thinking what the heck! I was devistated. The pain wasn't going anywhere yet. This was my first major flare.
After a weeks of prednizone, and plaquinell, I was starting to move again and felt normal!
I rechecked my doctors diagnosis and did what most people do, I got a second opinion. Which turned out to confirm the first. Crap. Really? So what did Lupus mean?
I had to do research and learn about this "lupus". I read up and got books, and my sister helped me via internet. She was like my own personal nurse. Although she was states away.
I was feeling better and normal again. The meds were working. And then my life, and families changed.
I woke up early one morning, like midnight, I thought it was just the flu. I remember throwing up all night, seemed like the moment I went back to bed, I had to run to the bathroom again. The last time I threw up, this time in the morning when Jack was getting ready for work, I litterally crawled to the bathroom and back to bed. I told him not to go to work. I needed help. I was worried about the kids getting on the bus, and how the hell could I take care of the baby when I didn't even have the strength to walk, lift my head, get dressed?!
He stayed home, and he called our friends to take the baby. Then he drove me to the ER. The first ER, told me to go straight to the 'big hospital'. We arrived and I was wheeled in. I was soo weak. The staff made me wait in the waiting room, I remember asking for a cup, cuz by this time I was just throwing up constantly, but nothing was coming out.
Finally I was wheeled back to the room where they hooked me up to all the monitors. I remember thinking " I just need a shot! to make me stop throwing up and I can go home." I wanted to leave. And Jack looked at me, he was pale, he said "your getting admited".
I don't remember much of what happend in the stay. Just bits and peices, like choking and trying to talk. Jack telling the nurse in front of me that "shes turning blue" and then I passout.
I didn't even remember my mom and sister flew out there to see me. Guess the doctors told my family that this was it.
They told me I went septic. Kidneys were shutting down, my heart was acting up, and my body looked like it went through a car wreck. Covered in bloody scabs on my face, and legs, my arms were covered in bruises.
I have long recovered from that first sepsis episode. But I still have the scars. Both mentally and physically. As do my family.
We then moved, Jack quit his job in Kentucky to move me close to my family. He was worried still that I wasn't going to make it. (But I'm awnry, I knew better)
Back in Washington I was reunited with my kids. That was a wonderful moment. Jack flew them back to be with my sister and mom while I was still in the hospital. Its heart wretching to 'wake up' and not have your kids to hold. And then waiting a month, to get out there and be with them. I walked in my sister's house to my older 2 running up and giving me a big hug, I couldn't let go. Just hugging and kissing them. And then I see my baby, sitting in his highchair eatting looking at me like...I know who you are...but... almost like he was begining to forget me.
I went septic 2 more times after that, all in the same year. Each time was a bit better..if that makes sence.
Now 7 almost 8 years later, I am in good health. I have a doctor here in PA who is AWESOME! I am on a good 'cocktail' of meds that keep me out of the hospital, and the lupus under control. My family is a daily blessing to see. Because I never know when I will get sick again. Comes on quickly. But I am blessed to wake up to the dirty dishes, my good lookin husband, and kids.
Each day is a Gift.
