Chronicles

The Begining of Emerging

2012-01-22T13:16:00.001-05:00

Love that photo! Because I am one.
It all started after the birth of our last son. In early 2005, I started to really feel my joints hurt, thinking it was just arthritis kicking in. I didn't pay it much attention, till it started to get so bad that I would have my friend, Heather drive me places. This kept on for a month, only to get worse. It started keeping me up at night. The pain was horrible. I could hardly walk or move my arms, jaw, and hands. I was riddled with pain, and having 3 boys, 1 in first, 1 in kindergarden half day, and my youngest still at home barely walking, this was a huge challenge.
Finally one night, I went to Walmart (they are 24 hours!) And bought some of the arthritis medicines that are advertised on TV. Thought that they had to work! Anything had to work! I was desparate. Pain medicines like Tylenol, advil, and ibuprophen were like candy and pointless at this time.

I finally made an appointment with a rhuematologist. Who ordered a list of tests. When the diagnosis came back in a week later, I didn't believe him. What the heck is Lupus?! Is it because I am over wieght? Thats really what I thought! He prescribed me medicines that I was scared to take and continue to breast feed my son. But he assured me that they were safe.
So I took them.

I remember my body at Turkey day, my husband was soo wonderful! I couldn't move! I walked like a 99 yr old, I couldn't cook, I couldn't even move my neck to turn and look. I remember thinking what the heck! I was devistated. The pain wasn't going anywhere yet. This was my first major flare.
After a weeks of prednizone, and plaquinell, I was starting to move again and felt normal!
I rechecked my doctors diagnosis and did what most people do, I got a second opinion. Which turned out to confirm the first. Crap. Really? So what did Lupus mean?
I had to do research and learn about this "lupus". I read up and got books, and my sister helped me via internet. She was like my own personal nurse. Although she was states away.
I was feeling better and normal again. The meds were working. And then my life, and families changed.

I woke up early one morning, like midnight, I thought it was just the flu. I remember throwing up all night, seemed like the moment I went back to bed, I had to run to the bathroom again. The last time I threw up, this time in the morning when Jack was getting ready for work, I litterally crawled to the bathroom and back to bed. I told him not to go to work. I needed help. I was worried about the kids getting on the bus, and how the hell could I take care of the baby when I didn't even have the strength to walk, lift my head, get dressed?!
He stayed home, and he called our friends to take the baby. Then he drove me to the ER. The first ER, told me to go straight to the 'big hospital'. We arrived and I was wheeled in. I was soo weak. The staff made me wait in the waiting room, I remember asking for a cup, cuz by this time I was just throwing up constantly, but nothing was coming out.
Finally I was wheeled back to the room where they hooked me up to all the monitors. I remember thinking " I just need a shot! to make me stop throwing up and I can go home." I wanted to leave. And Jack looked at me, he was pale, he said "your getting admited".

I don't remember much of what happend in the stay. Just bits and peices, like choking and trying to talk. Jack telling the nurse in front of me that "shes turning blue" and then I passout.
I didn't even remember my mom and sister flew out there to see me. Guess the doctors told my family that this was it.

They told me I went septic. Kidneys were shutting down, my heart was acting up, and my body looked like it went through a car wreck. Covered in bloody scabs on my face, and legs, my arms were covered in bruises.
I have long recovered from that first sepsis episode. But I still have the scars. Both mentally and physically. As do my family.

We then moved, Jack quit his job in Kentucky to move me close to my family. He was worried still that I wasn't going to make it. (But I'm awnry, I knew better)
Back in Washington I was reunited with my kids. That was a wonderful moment. Jack flew them back to be with my sister and mom while I was still in the hospital. Its heart wretching to 'wake up' and not have your kids to hold. And then waiting a month, to get out there and be with them. I walked in my sister's house to my older 2 running up and giving me a big hug, I couldn't let go. Just hugging and kissing them. And then I see my baby, sitting in his highchair eatting looking at me like...I know who you are...but... almost like he was begining to forget me.
I went septic 2 more times after that, all in the same year. Each time was a bit better..if that makes sence.
Now 7 almost 8 years later, I am in good health. I have a doctor here in PA who is AWESOME! I am on a good 'cocktail' of meds that keep me out of the hospital, and the lupus under control. My family is a daily blessing to see. Because I never know when I will get sick again. Comes on quickly. But I am blessed to wake up to the dirty dishes, my good lookin husband, and kids.

Each day is a Gift.

2010-11-01T15:37:00.000-04:00

Just joined the spoon lady. Read her spoon story and its wonderful that people are so gifted in literature that they can explain Lupus. Never was fully able to explain it myself. My kids think that I am just tired or always sick. That cuts deep coming from your 11 yr. old when he, and you remember how much fun "you" used to be. Even my DH. I wonder why he sticks around somedays. And other days, I feel so bad that I have this and he didn't even know at the time when we met. When Life gives you lemons make lemonade as the saying goes.

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

2010-11-01T15:32:00.000-04:00

The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino

Snow day.

2010-02-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

2009-10-29T20:04:00.001-04:00

Lets go Phillies! In the world series again. Cool.
Tomorrow is my Uncle's memorial. Too early, too sad, am worried about my family. Prayers for them.

Graduation 2009 Grace Luthren Preschool

2009-05-18T12:39:00.002-04:00

Alex growing up into a big boy now. Offical last day of preschool is tomorrow followed by the end of year picnic on Thursday.

2009-03-10T16:25:00.002-04:00

A night out with the ladies:) Was really fun. Mara ( the one in the crown) turned 30!! What a yungin!

Finally some pics of last year

2009-02-11T14:41:00.003-05:00

Ok so this is from Alex's school pj party around Christmas last year. They sang songs about Rudolph and Oh Christmas tree. The works. We even had a project to make and some cookies after to munch on. Oh yeah, the little girls in with Alex are his girlfriends. Aren't they cute!

The pumpkin Farm!

2008-10-09T11:26:00.002-04:00

This was a great day. We had lots of fun going through the corn maze and picking out our own special pumpkin. But in the middle of the corn maze we decided that we were not interested in mommy taking any more photos. So we missed the little photo opportunities. ( that blowed!)
But we took a hay ride through the haunted trail. ( Was very PG for the wee ones. )
All in all we had a great time! And are going to do it again this weekend with the rest of the family!

Chronicles

2008-10-08T15:17:00.001-04:00

Funny things

2008-10-08T14:41:00.000-04:00

We as mothers all been there. Making a quick trip to the bathroom and spatting off our to do list as we (well you know). Only to check in the bathtub to notice and ask the question.... "Why is there milk in the bathtub?"

More loonie photos

2008-10-01T12:46:00.000-04:00

"what was that?"

Goofy faces

Handstands on cement!

Crazy tricks, no helmets allowed

2008-10-01T12:27:00.001-04:00

Here is Ty. Showin off his stuff. Complete without helmet! DUDE! Will you stop! But look how much hes growin. Attitude is growing with the height too. Ogh, they grow up so fast.
Dare devil. Hes practicin how to ride without hands. Thats going to be nuts.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

2008-10-01T12:17:00.000-04:00

Alex was all super excited today! Woke up early, ate, brushed teeth, did the hair, and got ourselves out the door for his first day of school. Didn't want to pose for me though at school for his first day. Buger. But he has lots of little tots that are his friends and he loves his teacher. I should have taken a pic of her too. Both of them. Just a little nervous, Im not the camera notzi like some in the family (ahem... Dean)

And this is his sence of accomplishment at home shot. No need to fear mom, hes doin gggreat! I can do this school thing. I like it. Lets just hope he keeps that attitude for the next 13 years.

2008-09-19T11:39:00.000-04:00

Alright so most of you know that I have lupus and some in my family are finding out they have it too. Most people don't know that they have lupus.
Most doctors have a hard time diagnosing lupus due to the lack of knowledge and the frustrating criteria that you have to meet in order to be diagnosed. Lupus isn't the end of the world for us. We have some tools to help us out. Check out your local Lupus chapter, or log on to www.lupus.org for more information.
Arm yourself with awareness! Wear the purple!

The faces of Ty

2008-09-19T10:28:00.000-04:00

So here we have Ty guy. Looking all cute and sharp actually smiling! But this is very rare. Hes always giving me the crazy faces, or the tounge. Better than the bird! But doesn't he look like dad?! Hes my beautiful son. So caring and loving. Always eager to please. Mowing the lawn, and even the neighbors up the road! He really enjoys that because he gets $20! for that job! Always thinking about how to make the quick dollar. Tonight is the ice cream social at the new school. Can't wait to meet his friends and teachers!

Ty's 9th Bday party

2008-09-18T17:42:00.001-04:00

2008-09-16T15:35:00.000-04:00

I love my neighbor!Woof! Woof!

Tys fish

2008-09-16T15:32:00.000-04:00

Walkin up our property in the back to show me the fish he just caught. Super duper moment!

Ty caught 2, dad only caught 1. Daddy had fish envy. But hahaha! The boy did it! First time fishin!

Yumm yumm. But no, Im not cleaning it son. Throw it back.

Thanks Hun!

This is the drop off to the Schukill River. A little dark, But you understand. This was taken a while back. Before all the trimmings were made.

More happy times

2008-09-16T15:26:00.000-04:00

Our new school. Isn't it cool lookin!

First day of school

2008-09-16T15:24:00.000-04:00

Can we say Im not too happy bout this. Should of named one Nemo. Only ones happy! Alex is still pissed he isn't in school.

Sir. Sqeen

2008-09-16T15:22:00.000-04:00

His new 'do!! Isnt he ferocious!

2008-09-16T12:44:00.000-04:00

I have to mention this. Jacks little matchbox 20 car. Well the other day he had quite the scare!
While driving to work, he encountered a mother spider with eggs in tow, inside the passenger seat.
I guess she wanted to take a spin around the neighborhood. But got very pissed off when he removed her web from the
windshield. So she decided she wasn't going to take that lyin down! She was coming after him (so he said)
and was "jumping" at him. Normally he wouldn't of paid any attention to a spider, squish it and be gone.
But this spider was a "fish spider". (thats what I was told by fellow hillbillies out here)
They are jinormas! Like the size of your palm. So Jack was screaming like a girl, swerving in and
out of traffic trying to pull over on the highway. Armed only with his shoe. You would think
the smell of this alone would have made any spider (or thing for that matter) to shivel up
and raise the white flag. But no. We couldn't find the spider that night. Jack said he left his top
down all day to hopefully let it crawl out. Who knows where shes at now.

More Valley Forge

2008-09-16T12:13:00.000-04:00

Alright still trying to get all the pics in. But here are more. It was a super cold day! Just snowed the night before if you can call it that for Philly. What ever happend to the Rocky Balboa days of snow for PA? Huh? Wheres that at? I should bite my tongue. Im cold now at 75 degrees today. But I do love the cold weather. And hot. I love it all. Great to just enjoy life and be in the now. Wouldn't you say?

Game day!

2008-09-16T11:28:00.000-04:00

My big boys playin in their first baseball game of the season! Ty was all business. Chris, well he was Chris. Alex thought that he was in heaven with the puddles! He even got his partner in crime to help him out. (Now where did we put that worm?)

Before the 1st game at baseball

2008-09-16T11:20:00.000-04:00

Well we awoke to find this mess on the road. Some dude, delievering papers, had to move
away from the phantom car so he wouldn't get hit. Only to side swipe my SUV and crush the
front end of my neighbors car. Exciting huh. My boys' first game was this day! And we were
now going to be late!

Valley Forge

2008-09-16T11:15:00.000-04:00

Took a while but getting my pics in order is one giant feet for me. Enjoy, more to come when I get this picasa down!

Hey look at me I'm blogging again

2008-05-08T12:46:00.000-04:00

Hello there everyone that cares or don't. If you don't care, then why the hell you looking at my page??

Anyway! Ty is doing wonderful at Baseball! He is catching the hits, and sometimes it catches HIM off guard! Its cool! And Chris is finally hitting the ball! It makes him so proud! And me! You can hear me yelling in the crowd..." Thats my boy! Thats mine right there! He got yours out!! Oh yeah!!" Not the best parenting skills available to mankind... but its me! Jacks working non-stop. So I am doing my part by keeping up the house in tip top mode, and making sure that when he does get his butt home I have his dinner hot and ready. Maybe tonight I will surprise him with a bath too! We shall see.

Looks like I need to contact the paper company again with the hit my car issue. We owe the rental comp. 159.40 for having the rental for 17 days! Ummm... your going to pay for that one, not me. Jack just wants to get the deductable back. Screw that! And still be out 159! kiss something for me ok?

I haven't uploaded the pics of the boy's on the team yet. What else is new?! But I do have they're spring pics here for the world to see. Enjoy and I will chat with ya'll laterz.

Arbonne

2008-03-11T14:24:00.000-04:00

Hi again, so its been way long since I wrote on here. Forgot! Just forgot! Too many other things that I have been doing with MySpace, and then just living life without the computer daily. Been great! But I am here to say that I started yet another business adventure. Today its Arbonne. Because well, I use it anyway why not get paid for what I use and get a discount to boot right?! So, learning really learning about the products is going to be the tuffest part. Because they are all natural and plant derived. So I feel like Im going to school again learning horticulture. Not all consultants have to do the university that I am doing, but its fun to know about it all.

2007-07-19T13:37:00.001-04:00

Well hello again

2007-07-16T15:49:00.000-04:00

Hello to all who even care. I'm not consitant with this shit, but oh well. Im a sag. Get over it. I went back to the gym today after a long weekend, and the week prior of not going. But I did have a blast!!
On Saturday I went to my friends party, which included strippers!! Woot Woot!! Bow chicka wow wow..... And bought my hubby a special dance from one of the ladies!! Didn't get to see it of course, should have but didn't. I was with R checking in on the kidos and sitter. Making sure everyone was ok. Then we took the limo to the club Glam, That was fabulous. Had a good time.
RC is out of the hospital and doing well with recovery. She is trying to learn to walk all over again. This family I tell you.

Whats new in my zoo

2007-04-03T15:37:00.000-04:00

Long time since I have updated. But life out here is going fine. Adjusting to the new territory in the PA state. People talk like they have mush in there mouths. I hope that my children won't pick it up. But I think thats more south philly than where we are. Good!!
In other news I finally met some nice women who I am proud to say are my friends!! Yup its official, i have friends. About damn time!! I hate moving someplace new and not knowing a darn soul. Its difficult. But hey, I made it.

Time 4 Learning

2007-04-03T15:26:00.000-04:00

Check this out, my kids like this and ask to log on. Crazy huh?? But great!! My son is learning his math skills at his own pace. And is gaining his reading skills too. Anything to help him read better is fine by me. He was falling behind in his school for the reading, but this site is helping him with his confidence, and he is helping his younger brother now. As where before it was a battle to just get him to read a small book. Its nice to see him smile again.

Yippee!!

2006-02-22T18:37:00.000-05:00

Well hello people! Today I went to the gym after 4 days of not going! Aurg! Had a small Lupus flare up. But anyway, went and had a training session with Brian. He is so awsome!! He really encourages and pushes! That is what I totally need. I told him that its been 121 days since my last hospital visit. And that there is a seminar on Lupus in Kirkland, on the 13th of May, and would he like to be the fitness trainer to discuss how fitness helps the body get along and stay healthy. He said YES!! Yippee!! I did good today! I feel fabulous!!

feeling smaller

2005-12-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

Well today I got to see my friend for the first time in a long time. And with the web cam she got to see me as well. I guess that I have lost some weight. We used to pride ourselves about being the same size and weight. But , now that I am 43 pounds lighter from the time that I started, and only 37 pounds lighter than her, It does show and make a difference. I thought that I still was really big. I guess we all see ourselves different from other people. My friends, husband and family have been telling me that i am looking great. But I never believed them. I knew that I was loosing weight and the scale would always back it up. But I still thought of myself as a very large person. And in need of some serious exercise. My friend is beautiful. She has 6 children, and she is so sweet. But she is too hard on herself. She is only a size 16. That isn't bad. I was there for a good 10 yeas. So I am not seeing her as overweight. I know that she wants to and I am trying to encourage her to do so. She has joined a gym and went a couple of times. That was about 2 months ago. So she is back on the wagon and is motivated to go back. It is soo hard to stick to the diets and exercise programs if you are not into it. It is a real challenge. Especially during the holidays. There are more candies and goodies out there. But I know that she can do it. And so can anyone else that has the motivation. I hope that all of you striving to loose weight will find some great motivation and help out there. It took me over a year to loose 43 pounds. I took to it strong for the first couple of months like the first 6, and dropped 37 pounds!! But then I slacked off and got out of the grove. But now I am back at it strong and ready to loose the last 15 or so. I have never been "skinny" so I have no real clue as to what weight will look good on me. I would like to be heathly and slender. And not be imbarrased when I go to weigh at the scale at the doctors office. Isn't that imbarrasing!! And then at buffet lines you feel weird when you go for the deserts with a dinner plate instead of the little dainty saucers. Please, I love to taste my deserts, not tease myself. Good luck to you all. email me if you need some support. I am glad to give it to you. Desi

Happiness

2005-12-09T18:42:00.000-05:00

Ok today is just going so good that I am just flying. The boys are going to get picked up and my love life is just soaring. I am just on cloud 9 as someone put it. Maybe turning 28 isn't so bad. I just want to fly. I am in the best mood I am about to explode. The jewelry business is just kicking tushy. It is the best thing that could happen to me in the financial scene. Everyday I make some more money. And I look forward to talk to you daily. It gives me a little bit of excitement. I am just swimming. I never thought that I could be so happy in my life. My what ifs are there. What if it was different. I can make this work, I can. I so totally miss Kentucky. I need it back. I do. I want it back now. Why am I here in this state. I don't want to be here. Its just not cool. My life isn't here. I want to go home. I can't breath here.

2005-12-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

Hey I just weighed myself. And I am now 1 more pound Lighter!! I can't believe it!! This is just neat. I am so happy. I only have 19 more pounds to go!!! This is so cool!!! I can't wait. This exercise and healthy eating really works. Total weight loss to date is, 43 pounds !! That is a small 3 year old!! Holy crap!! When I finally reach my goal weight it will be a total of 62 pounds. This would be a great day. I am just in the best mood!! I am getting in better shape every workout and making the best out of every day by making good food choices. I am just so happy that I want to go out and buy a new outfit!!!

My birthday

2005-12-07T16:12:00.000-05:00

Well, today is the big day. I am now 28. What a day. I want to go out tonight. But my hubby is sick. Some birthday huh. I know that these things happen. But oh, well. I guess that I am just a bit glum today. Only 2 more years till 30 maybe that is the real problem. Who knows. If I don't then who will ever know. I did have one good birthday surprise!! I weighed myself this morning at 4 am and I lost 2 more pounds. Amazing what happens when you work out and don't eat all the junk that you love to binge on. Huh..... Imagine that one. Just 20 more pounds to go. And then I can see what I look like at my goal weight. I have always been a chubby kid and then just oh, what's the nice term that they used to say, "big boned". No I am not big boned. They were just being polite. Which is nice. But now, I know the truth. It is amazing the changes that have happened to my body since starting the healthy eating and exercise program. I can now see my shoulder blades move in my back, not the gross kind just normal. And I am not asked at the hospital "You need to see the nutritionist, she can put you on a diet" when I check in . Now they just say ok you can choose from the general menu. And my doctors they don't say well you are obese in your BMI, so you should start exercising and watching your caloric intake. It is just neat to see the muscle lines in my legs, didn't even know that you could have a couple of them. And my butt, how did that move up there? My arms don't continue to wave good-bye when I stop. I enjoy taking pictures now. Having me in the picture is really cool now. I didn't think that it was possible. But it is, cool huh. I just need to get with the program today. I am doing excellent on the calories, but I have not worked up the sweat yet. So I should go and do that now. Take care everyone. Lots of love. Desi